Talking to your partner about erectile dysfunction (ED)

Some men find it difficult to talk about their ED with their partner. 40over40.com and the 4tACTION PLAN provide you with some of the information and advice that will help you. Also, your partner could visit LoveLifeMatters sponsored by Lilly - the free service for partners of men with erectile dysfunction. Both services provide further information including the causes, the treatments and how to talk to your doctor.

Although you may find it difficult to talk about your erectile dysfunction, you really do need to speak to a doctor, since ED could be a sign of a serious underlying condition. Some couples are happy to deal with ED together - after all most couples talk about important decisions together so why should talking about an erection problem be any different? However, if you are finding it difficult, here are a few ways you might start the conversation:

• If you feel embarrassed or awkward about telling them, start by sharing your emotions
• Remind your partner that you love them
• Tell them that you miss making love to them and say why you haven't been trying recently
• Discuss how common ED is - 'Did you know that 40% of men over 40 have experienced erection difficulties?" and go on to say that you think you may be one of them
• Tell them that you've known for some time that you have a problem and at last you want to talk about it
  

Support for your partner
LoveLifeMatters.com is a free and confidential service, primarily designed for female partners of men with an erection problem. You should find this very reassuring, because it provides your partner with support and advice. So ask them to look at this site to help you both address
your concerns.

Further specialist help
If you want to seek additional specialist help, such as a relationship therapist or counsellor, your doctor will know the best people to see locally. Or contact one of the organisations listed in the TODAY section. And for more information and help with erectile dysfunction, continue to read all sections of the 4t ACTIONPLAN.